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| and you were wrong. I had avoided this because I figured writing it only makes it truly real. You always said,not actually but for the most part, "If we ever to break up you'd go along and be ok and I would be alone." Then, as expected, I once again brought out all the compliments and tried to battle that wounded ego of yours. So wounded that even the greatest of loves couldn't change-or so i thought. Clearly I was missing an element. Something i am not even sure you could even explain to me(for a smart boy you were never good at clarity). In seven months time I waited. Than you also waited for a mere four months. In that time one day It becam "ok" for you to move on. I had been replaced with overly dyed hair, cigarette smoking, pretentious, thing. I'm not here to be bitter though; just to face the facts. You're "ok" and while you're "ok" I compare every single male to you. They never match up, at this point even YOU couldn't match up. You stand corrected. For once I was right, and you were wrong.
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| I stopped and studied someone like you. Your flow of your hair, the plastic circles in your ear lobs, and that stupid corner of your mouth that curls up when you smile. You're not doing anything particular. Yet it makes me slightly giddy everytime. I think the appropriate word may be smitten. Is this the beginning of the end? Could i truly sustain a "real relationship" without anything other than your sight, your words, your heart. The basic logic in me chuckles at the idealistic idea. Yet here i am. Awaiting your arrival, watching you write in your notebook. Maybe love fool is the correct word.
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| the fact that everyone will always be compared to you. I hate that even you can't fill your own shoes. I hate how he is so similar to you and still not enough. I hate your dumb music. I hate that i love your music. I hate how your opinion still matters. I hate how pretentious you can be. I hate that you're not respsonding. I hate the fact that i care that you're not responding. I hate how you couldn't just be fully committed to me. I hate how you never wanted to be intimate. I hate your friends. I hate that you hated my friends. I hate that you never took my future in consideration. I hate the concept of how i may never get over you. I hate the fact that i don' know if you miss me or not. I hate how you still come up in my thoughts. I hate how you never let go of me either. I hate that you're filipino. I hate that your eloquent in speech. I hate how funny you are. I hate how you play hard to get. I hate how unromantic you are. I hate when you call other girls hot. I hate that you never called me hot. I hate that you dislike me smoking. I hate how you are always right. I hate how bad your sleep is with me. I hate that i miss visiting you at college. I hate how well we once fit together. I hate that we're not going to be together ever again. I hate that i can't do anything to change that. I hate how cute you are. I hate the idea of another girl even thinking she could be your new girlfriend. I hate how you would never chase after me. I hate how you couldn't even write a song about our break up. I hate how you think love poetry is a cliche. I hate how you didn't value me. I hate that this is ok for you. I hate that i wasted seven months waiting for you. I hate that i still love you.
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| I know I'm not the dvd you want to purchase.
I'm preowned, scratched, and overpriced. I know for sure you'll regret the 11.50 you spent on me because you'll realise netflix would have been cheaper. | | |
| with myself. I constantly think over the two questions if I'm happier with or without you. Although you may especially not believe it now, my love for you never truly leaves. It truly is only a matter of how you can't satisfy what i require. I can only nag you for long to be the man i want you to be. Grow up and accept the responsibilites that come up with acknowledgment that you're lucky to have me. Instead you've coward and given the excuse that you're not romantic. Of course it can be argued that you shouldn't have to change. Love is truly best when you can completely be yoursef. The problem is by accepting your faults, I've altered my expectations. I've lowered it all to say how you treated me was ok. You weren't an asshole or anything, but you weren't listening either. It's not far fetched for me to demand a little romance.
I can't help but still listen to your music, or reader you words, or watch you dance. You make up at least 5% of me. I know you feel like i gave up on us, but i was tired of waiting for what wasn't going to come.
I think it's really over.
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